Danielle S.

I often share videos, images, and stories that are fact-based, rooted in research, or sparked by an event that moved me emotionally. Sometimes these posts reflect my academic background, other times they’re simply part of how I process the world.

Now and then, a few “friends” respond by sending me videos or articles—usually from right-leaning sources like Fox News. These messages rarely include any personal note or context, and they often feel like an attempt to “prove a point” or change my perspective. It’s hard to say for sure, though, because there’s no real conversation—just a link dropped without explanation.

When I receive messages like that, I try to approach them as an opportunity for respectful dialogue. I respond by sharing my perspective, supported by factual information, research studies, lived experiences, and sources I’ve studied. My academic focus is in Sociology, Women and Gender Studies, and Ethnic Studies, and I’m also deeply passionate about mental health and neurodivergence. I don’t expect everyone to agree with me, but I do value meaningful, adult conversations where both sides have the chance to learn from each other.

Unfortunately, that rarely happens.

More often than not, my thoughtful responses are met with a single vague word, no reply at all, or—worst of all—insults. That’s the most disappointing part. I always hope that when someone sends me a message like that, it’s to open a genuine conversation, to sort through different beliefs and seek out truth together.

But one thing I’ve noticed consistently: those sending these right-leaning articles usually show no real interest in listening. They don’t offer research-based counterpoints, data, or well-supported ideas. Instead, they often fall back on dismissiveness or personal attacks.

A recent example: after I responded to a video about a jail losing funding for housing a trans woman in a women’s facility, the reply I received was something along the lines of, “No wonder why your spouse won’t tell you what’s on his mind.”

This wasn’t just an insult directed at me—it was also a low blow to my spouse. If my partner doesn’t appreciate an intelligent, research-based response, doesn’t expect replies to ignorant or offensive messages, or struggles to communicate with an informed woman, that’s something they would need to work on. That’s not a reflection of my worth or voice.

Insults like that also reinforce a damaging idea: that I somehow made a mistake in choosing a partner, or that I should be held accountable for someone else’s emotional capacity or communication style. Blaming a woman for her spouse’s lack of social awareness or inability to engage in respectful dialogue is a subtle but clear example of a misogynistic microaggression.

These moments, while frustrating, remind me why I continue to speak up, stay informed, and use my voice. Even when others try to diminish it, I know the value of truth, dialogue, and holding space for growth.

When was the last time you challenged your own beliefs—and truly listened to someone else’s?