Microaggressions

In our everyday language, we often say things without realizing they may be harmful or derogatory. Because these phrases are so common, we tend to dismiss them as “just words.” However, if we take a closer look at where these words come from and what they imply, we can break the cycle and make our language — and our subconscious thoughts — more intentional.

Not long ago, we were busy repairing our home to prepare it for sale. There was plenty to do — painting, moving dirt, and more. One weekend, we rented a scissor lift to reach the high roof ledge and replace some rotting boards.

As we got ready to start, my husband came inside and asked, “Do you have your big boy pants on today?”

When I asked what he meant, he explained that some concrete roof shingles needed to be moved and put back in place. He also reminded me that we didn’t have safety harnesses, and since he’s not a fan of heights, this task would be challenging.

Without hesitation, I headed outside with him. I went up the scissor lift — which extended more than 20 feet in the air — and climbed over the top of the safety rail to reach the peak of the roof. With a crow bar in hand, I adjusted the displaced shingles, then carefully inched my way to the next area that needed fixing. My husband stayed safely inside the lift’s basket, within the security of its railings.

Once we finished and were back inside, I couldn’t help but say aloud for clarity:

“I just went up on a roof more than 20 feet off the ground, without a safety harness, while using a crowbar to adjust concrete shingles — all without breaking a sweat. So next time, maybe ask if I’ve got my big girl pants on.”

My husband wasn’t intentionally being sexist — this is simply an example of how easy it is to say something that unintentionally sends a message. By casually implying that strength or bravery is tied to being a “boy,” phrases like this suggest that girls are somehow less capable, weaker, or inferior.

When we say these things in front of our daughters, sons, friends, or in public, we reinforce those ideas — even if we don’t mean to.“Hit like a girl,” “Fight like a girl,” “Emotional like a girl” — these phrases might seem harmless, but they quietly shape our thinking. By choosing our words more carefully, we can challenge outdated narratives and encourage strength, resilience, and equality — for everyone.

Danielle S.